As many of you know, I make journals. It is my creative joy. But the blank journal, is not for the faint of heart.
As many of you know, I make journals. It is my creative joy. But the blank journal, is not for the faint of heart. It requires a kind of bravery to enter a relationship with a blank book; a bravery to listen and to value what tumbles out of you in the moment, whatever falls onto the page. Too often, we discredit and disown our creations because they don’t seem to fit into a secret set of expectations we carry. This is a learned trait, this discrediting. When we were children, we did not care about whether something was a “good” creation or a “bad” one. We just created. It was through our teachers, peers, parents, and society that we came to see that what we put forth was not adequate. We internalized their secret set of expectations, and thus forgot about the value that our creations held outside of them.
When we journal, what we write or draw is something worth much more than the judgments of “good” or “bad.” Our words become teachers. They become teachers of our personal truth. Sometimes our truths are light and beautiful, and sometimes they are dark and damp; but they are ours nonetheless. They are all of who we are.
There is nothing more beautiful in this world than our truth. But meeting ourselves requires a bravery; a bravery to see ourselves reflecting back from the page. Once we recognize our truth there is no acting as if it is not a part of us. Though we may push it away or try to hide it, we cannot disown it. We can never disown that which is an intrinsic a part of our being. This can shatter the way in which we see ourselves in the world. But in the end, it can give us a freedom we never knew possible. We must also be brave enough to find value in our own truth. It is one thing to see it as ourselves, it is another to see it as valuable. This is the hardest part, especially for the parts of ourselves that fail at meeting those traditional expectations. But there is always value hidden within our expression. If there is enough energy behind it to spill out onto the page, there is value for us in what is being expressed. It is our job to understand what it is.
If we can change the paradigm upon which we value our creations from other’s expectations to seeing them as teachers of our own truth, we will have accomplished an extraordinary act of self-love. Many speak of self-love by being gentle with yourself, taking a nice bath, drinking tea, etc. It becomes a lovely spa day. But what I have learned, is that self-love is much more than this. Self-love becomes a practice of finding your personal truth and creating a life in alignment with that truth. Our journals are no longer blank books, they become acts of self-love. They become carriers of our truth.
Often times people will say to me,
“I don’t have anything good enough to put in your journals.”
“I am afraid I would ruin your books by what I would write inside.”
Whenever I hear this I want pull out my journals and show them all the curse words and angry rants, all the thoughts that tumble out when I am at my lowest and say,
“There is nothing more important or self-loving than to put something that spills out of you into something that you see as beautiful.”
There is no more self-loving act than to give yourself the opportunity to see your truth. And it only adds to the fullness of your experience if the vehicle by which you come to it is beautiful. In 2019, I challenge you to be brave enough to see your truth, and better yet, to place it in something that feels beautiful.
Much Much Love,